On this page the following entries were made in the “April, 2006” time-frame.
Archive for “April, 2006”
April Showers
I had an important meeting this past Tuesday. When I have an important meeting to go to, I like to:
1. Be unstressed
2. Dress appropriately
3. Smell good
4. Feel clean
5. Have ample time to get ready
6. Have clothes that fit
7. Feel my best
8. Not have to explain at the meeting why something is amiss
9. Wear my own […]
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Playtahfucious Says
A hungry fox and a yapping puppy once approached a hen guarding her eggs. The fox was dangerous, but the yapping puppy annoyed the hen more, so she got up and chased away the puppy, leaving the fox free to steal her eggs.
Apply that where you may.
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War of the Worldviews
Christians oftentimes create intolerance and unnecessary tension between themselves and people of other faiths. Why does this happen? Here are my thoughts:
We try to hold non-Christians to Christianity’s standards.
We are surprised and frustrated when non-Christians don’t obey God, and we often try to change their behavior. Jesus didn’t do this. Jesus taught everyone, but He […]
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Why Didn’t I Think Of That?
If I find the man who did this, I will marry him.
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So You Thought You Could Dance
Have you ever lived through this scenario?
-Talented person does something talented.
-You complement talented person.
-Talented person thanks you and remarks that anyone can do it.
-When you get home, you try to do what talented person did.
-You fail miserably.
This could apply to a number of scenarios, but it applies perfectly to dancing*. “Anyone can do it” is […]
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Lists
Gifts Saddam’s parents regret giving him as a child:
1. Submissive Burka Barbie
2. Lego’s Build-A-Palace playset
3. Risk
4. G.I. Jihad action figures
5. International Boy Scout Guide of Rocks to Hide Under in Iraq
6. Large barrel of oil
7. The Little Dictator Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Series
Why Paris Hilton is like a shark:
1. Both are only interested in flesh.
2. Both have shallow, […]
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Oops! My Bad!
To all the ones who want to find
A scapegoat they can blame
For all the troubles in the world:
I offer you my name.
I have to get this off my chest
(My conscience is at stake)
You see, most of the news today
Is really my mistake.
A year ago, when I was sick,
I kissed a couple ducks,
And now we have […]
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Would You Like French Strikes With That? (And Other News)
-Looks like there are strikes again in France over the labor law.
When I think of French strikes, I think of mimes and romance aficionados throwing smoked cheese at historic landmarks by candlelight.
-Tom Delay is finally resigning.
It’s about time. Did he just realize that dishonesty, greed, stealing, conspiracy, and illegal money management was not good politics? […]
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If History Was A Game Show
Have you seen that new game show called “Deal or No Deal”? It is pretty entertaining. Wouldn’t it be a lot more interesting if history had used the “Deal or No Deal” method of outcomes?
Howie Mandel: The banker is offering you $5,000 in clothing. Deal, or no deal?
Adam: Hmm…
Howie Mandel: Before you make your decision, let’s […]
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