Eye of the Tiger…er…Housecat
I enjoy cats. (However, this enjoyment does not lead me to purchase cardigans with cat appliques.) They are cute, they don’t smell bad, and having a cat asleep on your lap is one of the best moments in life.
But cats enjoy toying with us humans. They secretly enjoy the confused, worried look on our faces when we realize that they might know something we don’t.
I’m sitting in the chair, minding my own business. I look over at the cat. The cat looks back. And then…the cat winks. Yes, the cat winks at me. Not a blink, a one-eyelid wink. And I look at her. Was that an intentional wink, or did she just have something in her eye? She keeps looking at me. It WAS intentional. OK, cat. What do you want? Winking at me all smug and superior. What? Why did you wink at me? Do you know something? Are you mocking me? You know what I’m thinking, don’t you, cat? I don’t know how, but you know things. Dangerous things. Get out of my head!
Same chair, different day. I look at the cat, who is sitting in front of me. No wink. I’m safe so far. But wait, the cat’s looking at me. No wait, not AT me. She’s looking past me, over my head. I’m the only one in the house. Stop staring, cat! There’s nothing to look at behind me, cat! Is there? But the cat wouldn’t just stare for no reason, would she? There’s something behind me. I just know it. It’s probably a guy in a mask holding an axe. There’s nothing left to do but turn around. Ah! Oh. There’s nothing. I turn back around to the cat. The cat has walked away. That was it, wasn’t it? You just wanted to freak the human out to prove your superiority, didn’t you? Yeah, you act like nothing happened. I’m on to your schemes. I know your tricks. And now I am impervious to your games.
The cat winks.
Crap.
deb responds:
Posted: March 11th, 2006 at 8:35 pm →
ROFL
Getting into your thoughts is like taking a mini-vacation without having to fly or buy ridiculous looking flowered print shirts!!
Wait, I take that back…sometimes it IS like flowered print shirts. But I digress. ROFL