Don’t Gopher McCain
This election, please don’t vote for John McCain. Pretty please. Pretty, pretty please. I don’t say this for political reasons (though now I think of it, I’m not voting McCain for those reasons, too).
No, the reason I ask you not to vote for him is that I heard a clip of him speaking on NPR last night, and it became glaringly obvious: the man has an s-whistle. (How can I describe an “s-whistle”? - it’s like a verbal nose whistle occurring when the letter “s” is said.) Many great people have been afflicted with this - Dan Rather and Samuel J. Gopher from Winnie the Pooh are two - and have made great lives for themselves. (Last word from the Hundred Acre Woods is that Gopher won the lottery and is now performing in Vegas.) But I don’t think I can stand it if I have to hear our very own President belting out semi-musical consonants every State of the Union Address, or whenever else he feels like televising a speech during Law & Order.
The more I thought about the similarities between John McCain’s and Gopher’s way of talking, the more I started thinking about the similarities between John McCain and Gopher themselves. Some brief Internet research show startling physical similarities between McCain and Gopher. See for yourselves!
I now see that John McCain’s s-whistle is only a symptom of a bigger problem: He is slowing turning into a giant gopher.
Nothing against gophers, but we’ve never had a gopher as a senator, much less a president. So please, consider carefully who you vote for this November, or you might wind up with the President of the United States in your front garden, digging up your petunias.
Pamela (Fewless) Riley responds:
Posted: May 29th, 2008 at 8:40 am →
I never thought of John McCain as a gopher, but your right I do see the simalarities. Come to think of it if the choice was only between Mr. McCain and gopher I would probably chose the gopher. Hey girl it has been a long time since I seen or heard from you. Let’s get together for a drink or something to catch up.
Pam
dmarks responds:
Posted: June 9th, 2008 at 8:08 pm →
Not only that, he should take a gig going to Punxatawny, Pennsylvania every February 2nd to tell us when winter is going to end.
Dale responds:
Posted: June 20th, 2008 at 2:55 pm →
If only our other choice wasn’t a Dumbo eared, ignorant, Marxist appeaser with an ungrateful wife, I wouldn’t vote for McCain either, but you do what you have to do.
Brett responds:
Posted: June 26th, 2008 at 4:18 pm →
You know what really bothers me about John McCain. He always uses the terms “my friends.” Since when in the hell did I ever become John McCain’s friend? I never asked for a personal/business/political relationship with him. He never gave me his phone number. I never donated money to his campaign. I also never gave a flying gopher crap about him in 2000 either.
So…
WHAT THE EFF?!
Jimi J responds:
Posted: July 23rd, 2008 at 12:38 am →
John McCain…..who honestly could vote for him….he has no business even being in the race.
He has no understanding at all on the economy….he even admitted it a short time ago.
His claim to fame is being a protector for the country….He says quite often, “I can win wars!”
My question is what makes him capable of winning wars? He was a POW for 5 years….completely out of the war…..how does this give him experience in winning wars?
His speeches are so boring and childish….none of the news media wants to air them.
Don’t get me wrong I am not for Obama either as this guy has issues also….most notedbly recently being a flip flop specialist…..no I have just recently become independent and I will write in Jesse Ventura in Nov. 09. You got to love these politicians clowns we have.
Leigh responds:
Posted: August 2nd, 2008 at 2:28 pm →
OK-So I won’t Gopher McCain but I sure could Gopher a NEW POST! 8P
Dale responds:
Posted: September 5th, 2008 at 11:07 am →
Well, I am not a fan of John McCain either. He has many problems and he would probably be almost as bad as Osama, I mean Obama. The advantage of having Obama elected is that when the country goes to hell in a handbasket, we can rightfully blame the Democrats for the carnage that will result. We will see once and for all that the Democrats are evil incarnate and they will be hunted down and thrown into a deep dark hole.
If you get the idea that I really, really think Democrats are evil, then I have accomplished my goal with this post. Sometimes I like to couch my views with a little humor, but for these people I have nothing but distain and a deep, burning anger. I even have to admit to smiling when I heard that Ted Kennedy has a brain tumor. I know that God will deal with the evil in His own good time, but it is hard not to rejoice a little when evil is stopped.
Brett responds:
Posted: September 6th, 2008 at 2:02 pm →
Hey stinker - you still have my old blog link on your page lol
you should change it to my new one - which you can click on…