Playtah’s Easy Last-Minute Halloween Costumes
If you’ve waited until the last possible second to choose a Halloween costume, don’t worry. With only a few simple items and some acting, you can be the talk of the party. Here are some ideas for guys and gals:
1. Cut an old t-shirt so your midriff shows. Use eyeshadow and eyeliner to give your eyes that just-used-drugs look. Stick a cigarette in your mouth. Borrow two of your kids’ dolls. There! You are now Britney Spears.
2. Get a long blond wig, an ugly hat, and a box of waffles. Hit people. Yippee! You’re Kid Rock!
3. Remember that horrible sequinned bridesmaid dress? Put that on, and fall down a lot. You’re Marie Osmond!
4. Spike your hair and knock down the party host’s house. You’re Ty Pennington!
5. Get the tooth-blackener stuff sold at any Wal-mart or dollar store. Use that to make a gap in your front teeth. Then follow around the nearest white man and agree with everything he says. Hurray! You’re Condoleezza Rice!
6. Wear jeans, a t-shirt, carry a beer bottle, and make lots of jokes. There! You’re every movie character Vince Vaughn has ever played!
7. Put a garbage bag completely over your head and body. You’re a prom baby!
8. Wear a suit. Corner people in the kitchen and accuse them of sex crimes. You’re Chris Hansen!
9. Get a werewolf mask. Wear a suit. Pull up your pants so high above your waist that the existence of your testicles is questioned. Smile a lot. You’re Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!
10. Inflate 4 balloons. Draw female faces on them, and fasten two balloons on each side of your shoulders, for a five-headed look. At the Halloween party, waste an hour of someone’s time. You’re The View!
All photos found on Wikipedia.org.
Brett responds:
Posted: October 31st, 2007 at 8:37 pm →
Ah yes, I’d like to make a couple of additions if you will.
1(a). If your parent is driving you to different parts of the neighborhood - hold your baby (or babies for a funnier effect) in one arm and a starbucks cup in another. As you get to the car door, trip yourself on the road and swoop your arm down like you are going to drop your baby. Your costume will be sure to turn heads.
2(a). Bring a naked blow-up doll and carry it around you. If anyone asks, it’s Pamela (I know they’re not together anymore, but dammit it’s still funny)
2(b). Pretend you’re at an awards show and pick a fight after you say trick or treat.
4(a). For an alternative and group effort - dress up as one of the others in the show and sob constantly about how the candy give-outs are just so beautiful and you deserve a new house.
4(b). For Ty’s accessory: A megaphone. And go to someone’s house that you know and scream “(Family’s last name) family! Come on out! I want candeh because I’m hyper!”
5(a). For you hunting enthusiasts - Wear your hunting gear with a gun - get a bald wig and you can easily pass of as Dick Cheney. However, make sure your head is tilted slightly to the right for the full Cheney effect. Bullets not recommended.
9(a). Alternative: Get yourself a white bandana (or a piece of cloth, whatever works) and wear it over your face. Pull up your pants so high that you are showing at least 5 inches of white socks with your black shoes. Grab your crotch a lot and thrust while yelling “OWW”. You’re Michael Jackson!
Sorry - couldn’t contain myself
WOOZAH
Brett responds:
Posted: October 31st, 2007 at 8:40 pm →
Oh I’d like to make one last edition
Surround your front chest with a piece of cardboard made out into a table - and place a microphone and a coffee mug on the table. You can hold the cardboard table by wearing suspenders. Get a white-haired wig and some thick black glasses. Slouch over the cardboard. You’re Larry King!
Kelly responds:
Posted: November 2nd, 2007 at 12:26 pm →
I appreciate the beauty & intellegence that is… YOU!
You funny funny girl! MUAH!