I Swear
I think most of us would admit that we swear at least occasionally. I know I do. And while I can’t really defend the habit, I can say that the concept of swearing is an interesting one. Think of it - in our language (and in most others, I assume) there is a subset of words that are on a different plane. These words, when used judiciously, have more effect than ‘normal’ words. (I am a believer, of course, that words are symbols that only have meaning when cultures assign meaning to them. “F**k” is not a ‘bad’ word in itself, it’s ‘bad’ because at some point our culture recognized it as obscene, so to use that word is to go against this culture’s perception of what is proper.)
Swear words are kind of like a verbal fire alarm. Used too much, they lose their usefulness and effect. Used occasionally, they have a power (albeit a morally questionable power) that demands attention. For me, swearing usually serves one of three functions.
Adding Shock or Gravity
If you seldom swear (and this is the key to the use of a word for shock or gravity), letting an f-bomb rip (or any cuss word) would get my attention. It would let me know that the seriousness of the situation is elevated above what I thought, or that urgency is required. Consider the scene in Gone With the Wind:
Scarlett: …Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?
Rhett: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Rhett could have said, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t care.” I’ve heard people say before that swearing doesn’t add anything to a conversation. I have to disagree. In the above scene, ‘damn’ adds a tone of finality that you just can’t get by saying “I don’t care.” Whether right or wrong, using this word intensifies the situation, because the speaker takes a word that is usually considered in poor taste, or ‘low’, and basically says, “I know that this word is base and looked down upon, but I am willing to use it to make sure you know how serious I am. I don’t care how I look using it, I care that you get the message.”
In the same way, a sense of urgency is created with cuss words. Saying, “Get your ass over here now!” would most likely evoke a faster response than “Come here!”
Adding Humor
Although many times there is way too much swearing in jokes and comedy, there are times when cuss words really are funnier than their alternatives. When Kenny gets killed in the South Park episodes, Kyle usually yells “You killed Kenny! You bastards!” Maybe it’s just me, but I think that’s way funnier than “You killed Kenny! You jerks!”
Providing Relief/Release
Mark Twain said, “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”
I have to agree. When I stub my toe or run into something (which happens frequently), my first thought is certainly not, “Lord, please let my toe stop throbbing.” And saying “Oh, fudge!” just doesn’t provide that top level of venting. My first thought, honestly, is “SH*T!’ or ‘F*CK!’ Especially if I am in someone’s company, it also lets them know that I’m not joking. That is, if the gushing blood and misshapen foot bones haven’t already.
Like I said before, I can’t necessarily condone the practice of swearing, but I find it very interesting–especially the symbolic and cultural value of it. I hope you don’t think less of me knowing that I do swear occasionally, but I think we all do it at some point.
Here’s an interesting question: If the world were perfect and there was no sin or evil, do you think we would still have a subset of words that carried a similar function, specifically of providing release and relief? It’s arguable that in a perfect world, we wouldn’t need special words with which to add gravity, since everyone would be true to his/her word, but what about relief? In a world without evil, would there be special words to say after you stubbed your toe? It would still hurt, and you’d still feel like venting…
Rachel responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 2:33 pm →
If there was a world without evil no word would have a negative or evil connotation - like Hell.
I swear when I get really, really frustrated. Sometimes in general conversation the words bitch or bastard come out. Asshole is a favorite of mine.
But I try really hard not to swear in front of D. I have sworn in front of him a few times and he looks and me and says “It really upsets me when you swear Mom.”
Then I feel bad and apologize.
Andy responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 3:51 pm →
I generally try to only swear at inanimate objects, usually my equipment at work. Profanity doesn’t serve much purpose when directed toward other people other than making them angry and returning the profanity, usually adding the phrase ‘yo mama’.
There’s also some added factor when parents are nearby, particularly Mom. For instance, we were moving a deep freeze a couple of days ago, and being the natural clutz that I am, dropped a corner on my foot. naturally I expressed the distress my foot was feeling with a few colorful phrases. My foot didn’t feel any better, and I got a glare from her that could have melted the North Pole *pre-global warming*.
dmarks responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 4:14 pm →
I recently came across one I’d forgotten: “Bastich”. It’s one to use, Rachel, when you are not exactly sure of the gender of the bitch or bastard.
Tommy responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 4:22 pm →
And here I was swearing like a trucker on Saturday. In my case…well that’s a long story over a few drinks, but those words have been in my vocabulary for so long its almost second nature…I’m not even aware I’m doing it half the time….except times like, well, Saturday.
I think whomever created the Smurfs had the right idea…a word that could mean anything. Like “let’s get the smurf outta here!!” or “Awww SMURF!!!” when you stub your toe.
Then there’s the Yosemitie Sam school of thought when it comes to use of profanity…
BTW….still laughing my @#$ off at those GI Joe PSAs…
Andrea responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 7:54 pm →
I definitely think that after you have kids and they reach the speaking age, you start to watch what you say. I would swear occasionally, but I didn’t really want NOah’s first word to be sh*t or d*mn. Now I just clamp my mouth shut and let out an inward scream. I remember being in high school and my best friend’s mom told me that it’s all the intent with which you say the word that makes it what it is. Therefore, crap, dang, frickin’, etc. are really “bad words” in themselves.
And I think that in a world without evil we wouldn’t have to swear. We would have the gracefulness to move about a room without connecting our toes with evil objects. =)
Tara responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 8:07 pm →
I totally agree (I followed your link from DMarks’ blog) with you on all that stuff. Plus, a movie that has effective swearing in it that has been released to TV stations as edited-for-television,loses it’s impact. The scene in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” where Steve Martin loses his patience at the rent-a-car place after his rented car is stolen just isn’t the same on TV, because his explosion of swear words is either removed entirely, or just replaced with “safer” words. You can’t completely feel his rage, anymore.
Beth responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 8:13 pm →
Grizzy and I don’t cuss.
Much.
Any more.
Actually, we never really did all that much to begin with. And when the kid came along, we became quite creative, because, as mentioned above, we sure didn’t want her first words to be obscenities. (I will NEVER forget my embarrassment at LLBC when my then four year old niece, when asked what kind of cereal she wanted for a bedtime snack, IN THE SACRED DINING HALL, replied “MiniWheats, dammit!” while her parents tried to act all “we have no idea where she learned to say that!” Uh-huh.)
SO we mostly have words like ‘crankshaftin’ and ‘carburetin’ and so on. And I personally like ‘Manzita!’ in place of ‘dammit’ (because Grizzy reminded me that for a while, my kitties undoubtedly thought their names were ‘Smokey Dammit’ and ‘Dammit Penny.’
That being said….when you do not curse much, the rare times when you DO use a big fat fine word….carry much impact. As you have discovered. And there are times when a creative curse just won’t do it.
Think less of you? YOU? noooooooooooooooo way. Neva hoppen.
babybull40 responds:
Posted: April 3rd, 2007 at 4:52 am →
I swear.. I admit it.. I have been told that I swear worse than a trucker..But now that we have our little guy he will pick that up and the last thing I want or need is for him to be swearing.. so I try hard to replace f*ck and sh*t with sugar and fudge…. If I’m around other people that are swearing I tend to swear.. I hvae heard young children swearing and I know that he /she heard from the parent.. or the playground.. it’s amazing how many times I have heard my own kids swear.. not at me.. but at whatever they are doing ie: cleaning their rooms or on the puter…. I do tell them it’s not appropriate.. cause it’s bad enough that I swear.. I’m also sure that they hear it at school.. they are both in highschool.. so they definitely hear it from friends and watching MTV…maybe…
Jay responds:
Posted: April 3rd, 2007 at 10:52 am →
I was never a big cusser, but obviously the arrival of my young’uns caused me to be even more aware of what words did slip through the lips. But I still have some phrases that I’ve noticed my son has picked up, and they just don’t sound right coming from a seven-year-old.
Things like, “What the …?” I never finish with “hell,” or even “heck,” but it’s clear one of those is intended, even when he says it.
Or “Son of a …” That one’s worse, but thankfully he’s not repeating that one yet.
I play tennis with my pastor, and there’s nothing much funnier than two competitive men playing a sport while trying not to swear — there’s a lot of “Criminy Christmas!” and “For the lovapete!” and “FIDDLESTICKS!” emitting from the court.
Andy responds:
Posted: April 3rd, 2007 at 11:18 am →
I’ll have to admit the funniest profanity came from my 5 year old nephew before he could pronounce the phrase ‘hockey puck’ correctly. The grandparents couldn’t quit laughing, which was really odd for them. We managed to correct his pronunciation once we herded the elder generation from the room. Of course I laughed really hard once I left the room. We had the same problem with the word ’sit’, but it didn’t cause the same amount of hilarity.
Rachel responds:
Posted: April 3rd, 2007 at 1:10 pm →
We would still have these words in a world without evil. Look at the movie Pulp Fiction. I don’t think the line, “Bad M***** F*****” works in a sanitized version.
I’ll swear when it’s appropriate. It’s not an everyday thing, but when needed, I’ll even blog an F-bomb.
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a M***** F****** damn.” — that’s perfect = ; - )
minijonb responds:
Posted: April 3rd, 2007 at 1:12 pm →
ummm, Playtah… that last comment was from me, not Rachel. Your blog must pick up Names based on IP address. You might want to look into that.
David in DC responds:
Posted: April 3rd, 2007 at 9:30 pm →
Yeah she should.
But now we all want details about why the fuck rachel’s IP address would cause her name to appear over your post.
Yup, Wendy, it definitely works for emphasis.
dmarks responds:
Posted: April 3rd, 2007 at 9:47 pm →
Seriously, I rarely ever use ‘SH*T!’ or ‘F*CK!’. Extremely rarely. Months or longer might go by in between uses of them. But dammit, I think I say damn too much.
minijonb responds:
Posted: April 4th, 2007 at 11:29 am →
David: I work in the same cubicle farm as Rachel… and why the fuck should you care = ; - )
David in DC responds:
Posted: April 4th, 2007 at 8:50 pm →
Just fuckin’ nosy, I guess