My Favorite Joke
For those of you who question my sanity, here’s some more fuel for the fire: my favorite joke.
A farmer was selling one of his horses, and a man asked if he could take the horse out for a ride. “Sure,” says the farmer. “But I’ll warn you - this horse has a quirk. If he sees an avacado, he’ll sit on it.
The man assured the farmer that this wouldn’t be a problem, since there weren’t any avacados anywhere near the farm. The man then got on the horse and rode off.
Four hours later, the man came back, soaking wet. He jumped off the horse and stormed up to the farmer. “Everything was fine until we tried to cross a stream. Your stupid horse just sat down in the middle of it, and wouldn’t get up!”
The farmer shook his head. “I’m sorry - I should have told you. If he can’t find an avacado, he’ll sit on a fish.”
ANON1 responds:
Posted: March 19th, 2007 at 5:11 pm →
Not funny at ALL!!!
yougiveanonymousabadname responds:
Posted: March 19th, 2007 at 5:58 pm →
I wonder what HE sat on?
Rachel responds:
Posted: March 19th, 2007 at 6:13 pm →
I still don’t get that joke. Never have no matter how many times I have heard it.
I love that you laugh every time you tell it though.
Beth responds:
Posted: March 19th, 2007 at 6:25 pm →
Oh, now anyone who knows Wendelyn KNOWS that she’s funny because she THINKS she is! And so you laugh with her and then something else seems funny and it just keeps on keepin’ on, and good times are had by all.
I’m always open to hearing someone’s favorite joke. Betsy doesn’t tell them well–yet–but we continue to hope, and she does have a good time butchering the punchlines.
Suddenly I’m craving guacamole and grilled tilapia….
deb responds:
Posted: March 19th, 2007 at 6:44 pm →
ROFL That was hilarious. I have a very sarcastic, dry sense of humor and so I found that highly amusing.
Andy responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 1:13 am →
I didn’t laugh the first time, but for some reason it gets funnier each time I read it….is your sense of humor contagious? *cogh cough wheeze* uh oh
Playtah responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 7:47 am →
ANON1 - Well then, I suppose we just can’t date anymore. I’m keeping the mix tapes, but I’ll mail your “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” t-shirt back to you.
yougiveanonymousabadname - Good question…I’m leaning toward an avacado.
Rachel - It’s a highly illogical joke. But yes, I do laugh every time I tell it.
Beth - Good times ARE had by all! And people wearing chicken suits WILL be ridiculed! You must tell me if/when Betsy has a favorite joke.
deb - Yay! Most people either don’t get it, or they don’t find it amusing. I’m glad you think it’s funny too!
Andy - It DOES get funnier, doesn’t it? I don’t know if my humor is contagious, but my airborne SARS is.
Beth responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 8:40 am →
The only joke Betsy can tell decently is a knock-knock:
“Knock knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“Impatient cow!”
“Impa—-”"MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Heard it on Rosie’s show long ago.
MY favorite one is long but I shall share it anyway.
Grizzy and Gracie (you can use any couple names you like) are sitting around the fire reading when he says,”I’m hungry.” Gracie says “Well, there’s nothing interesting out there, I already looked.” Grizzy says,”What sounds good to you? I’ll go out to the store.”
Gracie says, “No, you don’t have to do that…well…I would like some ice cream, now that you mention it. Vanilla ice cream.” Grizzy says, “No prob, vanilla ice cream it is,” and gets up to go. Gracie says, “Since you’re going anyway, why not get some fudge sauce, too. Can you remember that? Maybe you better write it down.”
Grizzy snorts and says, “Vanilla ice cream and fudge sauce, how hard is that to remember?” Gracie says, “Well, let’s just go all out and have banana splits. Get some bananas. But you better write it down, you know you’ll forget something.” “Vanilla ice cream, fudge sauce, bananas, geeze woman, I can remember that much.”
“Do we have everything else? Better get some strawberries…and whipped cream…and some pecans would be good. I don’t like maraschino cherries but you do, so get those if you want some. And write it down. That’s a lot of things to remember.”
“Good night nurse! Vanilla ice cream, fudge sauce, bananas, strawberries, whipped cream, pecans, cherries. See? I can remember ALL of it.”
Grizzy goes to the store while Gracie finds the dishes and spoons, mumbling “I just KNOW he’s gonna forget SOMEthing. He always does.”
Grizzy comes back in a little while and hands Gracie the bag, “There you go, just what you asked for. Dish it up, I’m really hungry now.”
Gracie opens the bag and pulls out a turkey sub. She looks at him and says, “You idiot! I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot the mustard!”
Thankyou, thankyou….
ANON1 responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 9:20 am →
Wow, the jokes get lamer with the comments. And Wendy please hit the alarm clock and wake up. We would never date.
Playtah responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 9:24 am →
ANON1 - Just for that, I’m keeping your “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” t-shirt.
yougiveanonymousabadname responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 9:28 am →
Anon1’s heckling reminds me of Statler and Waldorf from “The Muppet Show”, but only if the two were nothing but lifeless and silent cloth creations because the puppeteers have gone home for the night.
Playtah responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 9:35 am →
yougiveanonymousabadname - Ooh! You gotta love Statler and Waldorf.
Beth responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 9:36 am →
I do! I do!
‘Cause, you know, if they REALLY thought the show was that bad, they wouldn’t keep coming back. So I can totally see the comparison here….;)
dmarks responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 10:39 am →
I kind of figured that Statler and Waldorf liked the popcorn, or maybe the chairs in their houses were broken and the theatre was the best place to sit. Or their wives were like Norm’s wife from “Cheers”, and because of that they didn’t want to go home.
Ben responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 10:48 am →
Just plain laugh out loud funny!! That is the best joke I’ve heard in a long time!
ANON1 responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 11:24 am →
Deleted by Playtah, who loves her friends and blog friends.
Playtah responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 11:27 am →
Ben - I’m glad you liked it!!!!
ANON1 - “Lithium” was a Nirvana song…you a fan of the band?
Andy responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 11:33 am →
Statler “What did you think”
Waldorf “I don’t know, let’s ask the Avocado”
Avocado “OOOOO, LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT”
Statler “That’s amazing!”
Waldorf “Not really, he’s been a Pearl Bailey fan for years.”
Jay responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 11:33 am →
Speaking of interrupting cow jokes … here’s an amusing take on it:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bn1-M5Ze0p8
Andy responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 11:39 am →
Jay - hehe, definitely gonna have to use that sometime
deb responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 2:53 pm →
I heard a joke today but it’s not my favorite one it’s just the last one I heard:
This woman walks out of a store just in time to catch a funeral procession going by. She’s a bit confused though because not only are there two hearses but there is also a long line of women walking behind the hearses. Curiosity gets the better of her and she trots up to the lead lady in the line.
“What’s going on here?” she asks.
The woman replies, “Well, ya see, my husband was being belligerant toward me the other day and my dog attacked and killed him.”
“Why are there two hearses then?” asked the woman.
“After my mother-in-law heard about the dog attack on her son she came over and was ripping into me for having a dog like that and my dog attacked and killed her too!”
“Wow,” said the lady, “Would you mind if I borrowed your dog?”
“Sure, no problem” replied the woman, “Just get in line.”
Dennis responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 3:20 pm →
You are definately one of a kind. I don’t understand the joke but that is okay. I have a pig joke I will have to tell you if you ask me next time I see you. To long to type here. So now that you are on the rebound from Anon1 does that mean I have a chance?
Beth responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 3:22 pm →
Jocularity! Jocularity!
More jokes, please. Better than any medicine!
And pass the guacamole.
Rachel responds:
Posted: March 20th, 2007 at 5:28 pm →
Ok…. I will tell you my mom’s ONLY dirty joke.
A really clumsy woman worked at a diner. She had broken so many dishes that the boss said “You break one more thing and you’re fired.”
The boss left for the day and she was wiping off the counter when she accidentally knocked the sugar bowl onto the floor and broke it.
Right when she was leaning down to pick up the pieces she heard the front door open so she took the sugar cubes and shoved them down her shirt.
She stood up and a good looking gentleman sat down at the counter and ordered a cup of coffee.
She brought him his coffee and asked “Would you like any sugar with that?”
“Yes”, he replied
“One lump or two?” she asked.
“Two”
The woman reached into her shirt and pulled out two sugar cubed and dropped them into the coffee cup “One, Two” she said. “Would you like any cream with that?”
The man looked at her chest intently and said “You wouldn’t dare.”
Woodsy Al responds:
Posted: March 21st, 2007 at 6:36 am →
I couldn’t figure out my wife’s moods so I bought her a mood ring. I’ve found that when she is in a good mood it turns blue and when she is in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead. Be blessed. Alvis has left the internet.
deb responds:
Posted: March 21st, 2007 at 7:25 am →
Here’s a joke I got today in my email:
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.
“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
“Did God throw him back down?”
dmarks responds:
Posted: March 21st, 2007 at 7:34 am →
Rachel: Good one. I printed it out and it was enjoyed all around.
Beth responds:
Posted: March 21st, 2007 at 8:38 am →
Here’s another:
What does toast wear to bed?
JAMMIES!
(Doesn’t THAT sound like a Statler and Waldorf moment!!)