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Simma Down Now

Posted March 16th, 2007 by Playtah

Hey, here’s a huge surprise: people in the Middle East are upset about something.

Yes, I know it’s hard to believe–such a peaceful oasis of tranquility makes you wonder how anyone could possibly have anger issues or blind hatred for something they’ve never seen. But I came across this article on cnn.com. Take a look at it. Here’s an exerpt:

All of Tehran was outraged. Everywhere I went yesterday, the talk vibrated with indignation over the film 300 — a movie no one in Iran has seen but everyone seems to know about since it became a major box office surprise in the U.S. …I felt the entire queue, composed of housewives with pet dogs, teenagers, and clerks from a nearby ministry, shake with fury…Everywhere else I went, from the dentist to the flower shop, Iranians buzzed with resentment at the film’s depictions of Persians, adamant that the movie was secretly funded by the U.S. government to prepare Americans for going to war against Iran.

I just have to shake my head. First of all, no matter if you are Iranian, American, or even Martian, go see the movie before you get upset about it. You might still be upset after you see it, but at least you have a basis for your anger. (And FYI, I saw it in the IMAX theater, and it was very entertaining. I could have done without the boobage, but the guys in leather loin covers were nice. And oh, those six-packs!)

Secondly, you DO know that 300 is based on a comic book, right? (Or for the uber geeks, a “graphic novel”. How silly of me to call it a comic book. I will now roll for damage.)  Seriously, how can you get upset at a movie based on a comic book? You’re really that upset about how Persians were protrayed in a fake story (albeit, loosely about a real battle)? That’s like American newspaper reporters saying, “We’re angry at the movie Superman! We don’t wear full-body spandex suits and fly!”

Thirdly, I know that Persia is the ancient name for Iran, but why get upset about the portrayal of your ancient people (in a comic book story)? I wouldn’t get mad if you portrayed George Washington as a silverware-eating pedophile in a movie. And he’s only a few hundred years removed from me. Why wouldn’t I get upset? Well, for one, I don’t care. You can make a movie about Columbus being a stand-up comic. It doesn’t make it true.

Fourthly, it’s based on a comic book.

Fifth, not everything is about you. Most people in the United States don’t want to attack you. It’s just Bush and Company. Our president and vice president are warmongering, power-hungry, terrible, horrible, no-good very bad leaders. I know that. But they (thankfully) don’t control Hollywood. Most movies are about money, not about making Iran look bad. We don’t hate you.

Sixth, and I can’t say this enough - the movie is based on a COMIC BOOK.

So settle down about 300. And go see the movie or quit whining. Whatever you do, don’t complain about the savage portrayal of Persians in a fake story by rioting and killing. That won’t prove your point.


4 Responses to: “Simma Down Now”

  1. Rachel responds:
    Posted: March 16th, 2007 at 10:19 am

    Are you serious? They are rioting because of the movie 300? You have GOT to be kidding me.
    They should go see the movie though. All the gratuitous sex scenes and six pack might just inspire a love-in. Put that passion to work in a different way!
    I bet they are all so angry cause the don’t get enough lovin’.

  2. Andy responds:
    Posted: March 16th, 2007 at 10:20 am

    Hope you didn’t crit on the damage roll……(yes I show my uber geekness)
    I only wish there was an IMAX closer to where I live, I’d go watch it again. And I missed the public outcry when the Graphic Novel was published back in the 90’s. Though, I might have been too much into my grunge phase to notice the Iranians saying anything at that point.
    I do wish Bush and his buddies would put away the sharp stick the keep using to poke at Iran. And I hope that stick out of Cheney’s hands, we know his hunting record, he may end up having to hire yet another aide.
    Relations with the Middle East might be better if we stop talking about them and the government tried to talk to them, and not like they’re all bomb toting extremists. And if Iran wants to get even they can always make a movie about Little Big Horn……from the Native Americans perspective. I’ll see that in IMAX too.

  3. deb responds:
    Posted: March 16th, 2007 at 10:29 am

    “We don’t wear full-body spandex suits and fly!”

    Speak for yourself. ;-P

    LOL

  4. dmarks responds:
    Posted: March 16th, 2007 at 5:17 pm

    Well. the reaction could have been a lot worse. At least nobody drew a cartoon.


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