The Nuts Are Running The Squirrel House

Many countries have nicknames or unofficial titles. The USA is the “Land of Opportunity”. Ireland is “The Emerald Isle”. I’m sure Cuba’s unofficial title is “Land of People Who Are Building Rafts to Leave and Go to the Land of Opportunity” but I haven’t verified that one. (On a related note, I assume Cuba’s Motto is something like: “Come for the cigars, stay for the communism.”)

I don’t know if Indonesia has a nickname yet, but if it doesn’t, I’d like to suggest one: “Satan’s Crapper”. All the bad stuff happens in Indonesia. Tsunamis, earthquakes, bombings, airline crashes. Any one of those things would be bad enough, but Indonesia’s got it all. I’m actually surprised that so many people still live there - I would think that the high likelihood of death by catastrophe would drive them away. Maybe it’s the lure of oceanfront property that keeps them there. Maybe they like pain. Maybe they just have a good sense of humor about massive destruction. Whatever this “stay factor” is, I’m sure it’s responsible for letters like this being sent from island residents to their children who have wisely moved somewhere safer, like Iraq:

Dear Ramelan,

It was good to hear from you. I’m glad you are enjoying the safety of Iraq, even though it hasn’t been too bad here in Indonesia lately, either. Your brother’s school was only closed 20 days this month because of earthquakes and terrorism, so he was able to learn quite a bit. I was a little frustrated a few weeks ago, because a plane crashed into the back yard, crushing the tomato vines I had JUST PLANTED. What a waste of 50,000 rupiah.

Your father was frustrated too, as the 200 inches of rain caused a massive mudslide, completely covering the landscaping project he was working on in the front yard. It took him a week to clear the mud from the yard, but then a plane crashed there, too. Not to worry, though. The tsunami last week cleared most of the wreckage away, and we’re hoping the tsunami this week will clear some more of the mud out.

Oh, do you remember Mr. Bali’s grocery store? It was looted and burned down during the last bombing, but don’t worry - he started a new t-shirt business. Two of his best sellers are:

“I nami, you nami, we all nami, for tsunami”

and

(with a picture of our flag) “These colors don’t run: They do, however, crash, flood, then get swept out to sea.”

He’s working on another t-shirt for the school’s anti-drug and monsoon safety program: “Don’t get high, just get to higher ground.”

Well, that’s about all that’s going on around here. Like I said, it hasn’t been too bad here. As soon as we pump the 3 feet of rain water out of the basement, your father and I will be busy getting ready for monsoon season.

Love,

Mom

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 7th, 2007 at 11:01 am and is filed under Have A Laugh, World Events. You can follow responses to this entry through the Comments RSS Feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.