A Season By Any Other Name
While some people spend their time helping orphans and finding a cure for asthma, I like to do what I do best: watch Family Guy and ponder the mysteries of the universe. A new mystery struck me today.
Consider our seasons. There are, of course, four: winter, spring, summer, and fall. (I hope this is review.) Two of the seasons have their own unique names: “winter” and “summer”. These are elite words, made specifically for one purpose only. They don’t do double-duty. They can refer to nothing else but their specific season. There is no other noun that can be labeled a “winter” or a “summer”. But “spring” and “fall” are just everyday common words. Verbal peasants, if you will. We use them elsewhere for other things, not just seasons. Your pen has a spring. You can get water from a spring. You can fall on the ground. Prices can fall. Why is this? Why do only two seasons enjoy the honor of having their own names? Why are the other two seasons relegated to second-class status? Were wordmakers tired after inventing two new 6-letter words? Were they so exhausted after naming two seasons that they just gave up and slapped common words on the rest?
Whatever the reason, this sets a dangerous precedent. What would happen if we used the season-naming strategy in other places?
1. The continents might be Europe, Asia, Anarctica, North America, barrel, lamp, and staple gun.
2. You might have Eastern Standard Time, Central Standard Time, lobster tub muffin, and wheel sandbox painter.
3. The seven dwarfs might be Sneezy, Bashful, Sleepy, Grumpy, boat, flagpole, and walnut.
4. My birthday would be in September, but yours might be in cabbage.
How to we prevent this dilemma for future words? I say we show Winter and Summer that we mean business. You think you’re better than spring and fall? Well, take this–spring and fall now have their own names, courtesy of me. They are…um…melterum (spring) and leafitor (fall). Yes. Melterum and leafitor. Please incorporate these into your vocabulary immediately.
In other news, we now have snow on the ground. I can’t wait for melterum.
Rachel responds:
Posted: January 8th, 2007 at 12:31 pm →
Well, you can always call Fall the new fandangled word Autumn.
For Spring? Got nuthin’. Melterum works for me.
deb responds:
Posted: January 8th, 2007 at 1:26 pm →
Like it. Have your people call my people and we’ll work out a deal.
I have no clue what I’m talking about.
I better go now.
Jay responds:
Posted: January 9th, 2007 at 7:58 am →
Excellent … but for one thing. How do I remember which way to turn my clocks? “Melterum forward and Leafitor back” just doesn’t work for me.
deb responds:
Posted: January 9th, 2007 at 12:22 pm →
I think I’m getting melterum fever.