The Nuts Are Running The Squirrel House

I love Christmas traditions, but sometimes you need to throw in a new one. Not just any tradition, however. It’s got to be meaningful enough to keep going, fun enough to look forward to, and just cryptic enough to throw the uninitiated off their guard. I submit to you such a tradition: The Christmas Mango Ceremony.

The first thing any tradition needs is a good story about its origins. You may have to make one up. For example, let’s say that the idea of “Santa” came about because one Christmas Uncle Frank got drunk, stole the neighbor kids’ toys, handed them out to other kids, then climbed up on the roof, tripped, and got stuck in a chimney.

That’s not a good story. Instead, how about a kind-hearted German guy who gives needy children presents? That’s better.

Now for The Christmas Mango Ceremony backstory. The fact that I couldn’t think of anything better to blog about makes a boring story. So. Here’s your back story:

Many years ago, a poor fisherman in the tropics had no luck catching fish. He and his family were destined to starve unless they found something to eat. He lamented this to himself one day as he mended his nets. Suddenly, a butterfly landed on his net. “Kind sir,” the butterfly said, “I know you are a hardworking man, and care very much for your family. If you follow me, I promise you that your family will get food.” The butterfly lead the man away from the nets and into a grove of trees. In the middle of the grove was a tall mango tree that the fisherman had never seen before. On this tall mango tree was the biggest mango he’d ever seen in his life. The butterfly instructed him to sit under the tree and rest. As the fisherman did so, the giant mango fell on his head, killing him. His relatives then ate him. They also ate the giant mango. Ever since then, the mango has been a symbol of blessing.

Now for the actual tradition: The fisherman’s family remembered this event year after year with a special ritual. A mango would be brought in and set in the middle of the table. Everyone (draped in fish nets) would gather around the table, place their hands on the mango, and repeat this blessing (which I have laboriously translated into English):

May the blessing of the mango
Abide in your hearts and home
For although we have lost much,
We have also gained much,
And discovered the joys of chutney.

After the blessing, the family would make chutney from the mango. The pit of the mango would be saved and made into a tasteful centerpiece to sit on the table all that year, reminding the family not to sit under mango trees, especially those with giant mangos. The tradition lives on to this day.

On a side note, this is probably why no one ever asks me to be in charge of parties.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 22nd, 2006 at 1:13 pm and is filed under Have A Laugh. You can follow responses to this entry through the Comments RSS Feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.