A Day In The Life Of A Roach
As I mentioned in a previous post, I am a cockroach for halloween.
This is the stock photo of the costume:
And this is me in the costume:
I must say, wearing a cockroach costume does present it’s own unique set of circumstances. Here are some things I’ve thought, said, or done today:
Leaving For Work
“Crap. I can’t get out of my apartment unless I turn sideways.”
“Crap. It’s harder to lock my door with cockroach pinchers on.”
“Oh, good. I don’t have to scrape my car.”
In The Car
“Aw crap. I shut my shell in the door.”
**I go to shift the car. A roach hand is already on the shifter. I move roach hand.**
“It would be funny to go get coffee at McDonald’s so I can go through the drive-through as a cockroach.”
“Hmm…I might get too hot with coffee AND this costume.”
“I’m going through anyway!”
At Work
“Oh, crap. I’ve gotta pee.”
“Crap, it’s hard to put my headset on.” (I’m a phone rep.)
“Crap, I pulled part of my phone equipment off my desk.”
“Crap, I rolled my chair over my shell and now I can’t stand up.”
“Ok, I’m up.”
“Good thing I’m warm enough and don’t need the space heater on. Don’t want a repeat of the belt incident.”
“Too bad I can’t shoot lasers out of my roach arms.”
“Actually, it’s probably good that I can’t shoot lasers out of my roach arms.”
At Work During Lunch and Costume Judging
“I’ve got a bruise on my forehead because someone turned on the lights, and I ran into the refrigerator.”
“I’m that bug that’s going around.”
“Westside Colony!” **Flashes fake gang symbols**
**Rolls up napkin like a joint and puts it in claw** “Look! A roach holder!”
(Counting the votes)
Counter: “And one for the roach.”
Me: **Still holding fake joint** “Which one?”
But halloween is not over yet. I’ve still got a night in the life of a roach.
Christian McDaniel responds:
Posted: October 31st, 2006 at 5:37 pm →
Costume rules!!! Roaches must be represented by someone who can lead them. Lead them, Playtah, Lead them
minijonb responds:
Posted: October 31st, 2006 at 8:47 pm →
Yo yo yo… don’t be frontin’ around them Eastside Roaches… they’ll pop a cap into your pinchers.
=;-)
Andy responds:
Posted: November 1st, 2006 at 12:07 am →
Just beware of large hammers and anyone wearing oversized shoes
Rachel responds:
Posted: November 1st, 2006 at 9:08 am →
Raid!!!! AAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!! LOL It was a lot of fun hanging out with you in costumes.
Brett responds:
Posted: November 2nd, 2006 at 2:24 am →
Hey and don’t forget my comment where I said, “Hey, don’t make me get the Raid, alright?”
mwa ha haaa
But the funniest part was that random 60’s swimmer dance you did the arms LMAO oh my goodness…
Playtah responds:
Posted: November 3rd, 2006 at 2:20 pm →
Christian!–I miss you!!!! I will indeed lead the roaches to a glorious new golden age. Xaxanadu!
minijonb–them eastside roaches were all up in my grill, and I’m like, “Yo, get up off me.” And they’re all like, “I’m-a get up in your grill ’til you get off our turf.” And I’m all like, “Fine, I don’t wanna mess up my Ice Creams with your nasty turf.” Then they shot me in the leg and took my shoes.
Andy–Good point! Yeah, I should stay away from anyone wearing a costume with a large striking surface.
Rachel–Good times, good times!
Brett–I bet people haven’t had that much fun with roaches since the 60’s. Or the “Easing Glaucoma” conference.