An Entertainer’s Fears

Posted October 19th, 2006 by Playtah

I have dreams.  I’d love to be on SNL or Mad TV.  I’d love to be on a TV show or in a movie.  I’d like to perform for sold out crowds.

Problem is, I haven’t really had any exposure yet.  I need to go to a bigger city, where there’s more entertainment opportunities, and famous training centers.  Chicago fits that bill.  I’d like to go to Chicago and maybe take the Second City Conservatory program over again.  Maybe get a part in a stage show.  Maybe do some independent film roles.  I just want to get an entertainment career kick-started.  Am I good enough to do it?  I don’t know.  All I can do is try.  I hope I’m good enough.  Yes, I can be good enough.  God gave me talent and dreams.  There’s nothing else I really want to do, or that I’m good at.   But I have my fears.  Am I too old?  I’m only 26, yes, but you hear about entertainers who made it big or got great roles in their childhood or early 20s.  I know that I shouldn’t compare myself with others.  Everyone is different, and everyone has a different life with different steps.  But I have all these dreams and hopes, and I don’t know if they’ll ever come true.  All I can do is try.  I’ll either find that I can do it, or perhaps that I need different hopes and dreams.  I’m so restless right now.  I’ve got to do SOMETHING.  I can’t stay in this limbo.  Pardon me for verbally pacing, but it feels good to get this out.  I have to do something to get this rolling or I’m going to go crazy.  I get bored.  I sleep alot.  If I had something to shoot for, maybe I’d be more content to be conscious.   Is it wrong for me to want fame?  Maybe.  Maybe that’s part of the maturing process–maybe you start out with dual goals: doing what you love, and fame.  Then as you mature, doing what you love is good enough, and fame doesn’t matter.  I’m being honest here.  Many people would probably say that wanting fame is arrogant and self-centered.  Maybe they’re right.  I should probably just do what I love, try to be the best at what I love, and let what happens, happen.  But I’ve got to do something.  Soon.  Pray for me please!

 


8 Responses to: “An Entertainer’s Fears”

  1. Pop responds:
    Posted: October 19th, 2006 at 1:31 pm

    Heya Playta? Where you been? the forum misses you, heck I miss ya. Hope the inactivity at Poetry Power means you did get your acting gig, although we would love to hear about it.

    Miss ya.

    daOLDpop

  2. Rachel responds:
    Posted: October 19th, 2006 at 2:27 pm

    Phew…OK, Chicago I can handle.
    Do what you love and are passionate about and the money and fame will follow.
    Don’t let people (including me) be the reason that you stay someplace that stifles you.
    Make sure wherever you go that you have a good support system.

  3. Playtah responds:
    Posted: October 19th, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    Pop–Hey! I miss you guys, too. I had to stop work on the Normandy poem for a while–it’s a heavy subject. But I’ll be around there soon. Thanks!

    Rachel–Yeah, don’t worry. Right now it’s Chicago, not New York :) I wish I could take everyone with me (including you) wherever I go…it would be so much easier!

  4. Gracie responds:
    Posted: October 19th, 2006 at 2:48 pm

    Hey girl….
    We’re not so far from Chicago that you couldn’t plan a long weekend to go check things out…and we do have some friends there. Maybe we can help.

    I KNOW you can be anything you want to be. I KNOW how funny you are. Who would know it better than your co-author and partner in crime when it came to the Timmy stories?

    And I pray for you every day. Always have. Always will.

  5. Brett responds:
    Posted: October 20th, 2006 at 12:15 am

    Ahh, Chicago…

    You know, I’m really in the same boat with you here…I would love to just put my crap in a bag (or 2…actually I think I have 3…yeah, we’ll go with 3) and just MOVE to Chicago. You actually have goals though of what you want to do…I just want to be there LOL. I love city life, it’s wonderful.

    And ya know, fame always starts at YouTube nowadays ;) I think you’ll do just fine. Perhaps things may not work out the way you want them to at first (at least that’s what I’m told, and look where we work LOL), but I think there will be a point in everyone’s life where you feel pretty damn good 20 years from now what you have accomplished.

    And if you do become famous…I want to have a tv show with you like French and Saunders, or be your tour manager…or be your assistant whore or be the photographer for your later autobiography…or the person that will keep a puke bucket for you if you get stage fright and have the sudden urge to “let it go”, or your limo driver…or the crazed fan that stalks you to every show. Either way, you’ll do great and I hope you get what you deserve :)

    ::Yahweh Dance!!!:: YAAAY

    I hope that was sappy enough for you because it’s 1:15AM and I’m usually emotionally drained from the world at this point in time. :D

  6. Onyx Stone responds:
    Posted: October 21st, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    26 is not too old. If you were a bimbo riding on nothing but girlie looks, then you’d need an earlier start, but in any other field you’ll reach your peek between 40 and 50. That’s when you’ll achieve most in your life. So even 30 is an early start. ;-D I hope…

    Many people would probably say that wanting fame is arrogant and self-centered Perhaps. But wanting to make an impact with your talent is not arrogant, it’s good. If you didn’t want to do something with what God gave you, that would be a problem.

    Live it up. You’ve got spunk. Opps, Can you say that on a U.S.A. web site? I mean you’ve got that spark of something we need more of.

  7. Andy responds:
    Posted: October 25th, 2006 at 2:27 am

    I’d say go with your heart, the things we regret most in life are the tihings we never tried and never gave a chance….

  8. Christian McDaniel responds:
    Posted: October 31st, 2006 at 5:34 pm

    Phil Hartman didn’t make it on to SNL until he was in his thirties. Stay the course and you will be rewarded. He was one the best ever to be on SNL, which led to him being the most versatile.

    Miss yer funny,
    Christian


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