The Nuts Are Running The Squirrel House

Do you believe in omens?  Yeah, neither do I.  But…

Last night after picking up a deliciously nutritious dinner at Taco Bell, I looked in my bag and found this:

Yes.  That is a double-spork.  Most sporks come like this:

But no, there were two sporks in that one package.  Some people would have taken that as an omen.  I took it as an anomaly.  Nothing more.

Until I woke up this morning.

Yeah, snow.  I didn’t even have a scraper in my car yet.

So I used my sporks.

Well, not really.  But I could have.  Instead, I plan to sell my double sporks on ebay.  Check out the listing here.  My product description:

Looking for an heirloom to pass on to your children?  Need a good luck charm for that weekend in Vegas?  Or just looking for something to take on the romantic picnic where you plan on proposing?  Well, have I got the thing for you:  A package of not one, but TWO sporks.  Most people only get a package containing one spork when they order a side of rice at Taco Bell, but not me.  I got a package with TWO sporks.  One man’s mistake at the spork factory is another man’s treasure.  Actually, I’m not a man.  I’m a woman.  But this can be YOUR treasure.

Be the envy of your friends!  Show off your rare double-spork package to your coworkers!  Have it interred with you when you die!  Whatever you do with it, just make sure you don’t poke your eye out, because although sporks ARE part spoon, they are also part fork.

Could this double-spork package mean good luck to the buyer?  I don’t know.  (I thought of buying a lottery ticket to test that theory, but I don’t want to use up any of the luck.  That just lowers the market price.)

I will mail the spork to the lucky winner, tenderly nestled in bubble wrap, and lovingly placed inside a cardboard box.  It will arrive at your mailbox safe, and well-rested.  (Once it arrives at your home, you are encouraged to name the sporks.  If you feel like it, email me and let me know what you named them.  I feel like their foster parent.  Except for the selling-them-on-eBay part.  But I don’t know…look up “foster kid” on eBay…maybe the parents do sell them.)

Please bid generously–I’m poor.

So there you go.  Feel free to check out the listing.  Heck, feel free to bid.  Especially those of you out there without ice scrapers for your car.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 12th, 2006 at 1:24 pm and is filed under General, Have A Laugh. You can follow responses to this entry through the Comments RSS Feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.