The Nuts Are Running The Squirrel House

People who write biographies often have to search through many documents about their subjects.  Probably the most fun ones are the personal documents like diaries, journals, day planners, etc.  You can learn a lot about people by reading what they’ve written. 

With this in mind, I think if I ever get famous, I’m going to have fun with this idea and purposely try to throw off those who will later shuffle through my writings, day planners, etc. as they write a tell-all biography about me.  This won’t require blatant lies….just some creative re-wording.  If I have a chiropractor appointment to adjust my back on Monday, my day planner will say, “Monday–Crack House.”  If I have to have my dog spayed at 3:00, instead of wrting “Spay The Dog–3:00″, I’ll just write, “STD–3″.  If I’m writing about how I took my boyfriend William Mervin Davis spelunking, my entry might say, “Took WMD to the cave outside of town.”  That way, instead of a back-pain sufferer who cares about animals and enjoys a good natural rock formation with people she loves, my biographical image gets upgraded to a drug addict with a contagious trifecta and terrorist connections.

New York bestseller list, here I come.

Of course, this will seriously hinder my goal of having an orphanage named after me.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 21st, 2006 at 2:54 pm and is filed under General. You can follow responses to this entry through the Comments RSS Feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.