A War That Everyone Can Enjoy
Instead of disagreeing and fighting and killing people from other countries, I think we should settle our differences in a more mature manner: squirrels with lasers.
Let’s say England and Denmark were about to attack each other. Instead of using weapons, they would gather in an arena on a neutral country’s ground, and have a squirrel-off. Each country would get a team of 10 squirrels (plus 5 extra bench-squirrels in case of injury.) Each squirrel would be equipped with a head-mounted laser, a laser-tag vest, and a steel belt on their tail. The squirrels would take up position on opposite sides of the field, and each team of squirrels would have 20 small magnetic acorns guarded by at least one squirrel. The object of the competition would be to capture the other team’s nuts. This would be accomplished by a squirrel brushing its steel tail belt against the magnetic accorn (thus attaching the acorn to the steel) and running back to its home side. This must be done, however, without being tagged by the other team’s lasers. If a squirrel’s vest lights up, it’s out. Whoever ends the game with the most nuts wins.
It’s much more fun than war, and let’s face it–every squirrel enjoys a good round of laser tag.
Deb responds:
Posted: June 16th, 2006 at 10:28 pm →
What movie did you watch recently because this whole “squirrel” thing sounds vaguely familiar. ROFL
Jan responds:
Posted: June 19th, 2006 at 8:38 am →
Did you see the movie Over The Hedge? with the squirrel Hammy? I could just see an army of Hammys doing that. How fun.
Rachel responds:
Posted: June 19th, 2006 at 9:30 am →
This is a great idea except for one thing. Animal doping. You know that there would be countries that would beef up their squirrels with steroids. Others would inject caffiene into their blood stream before a match to increase their speed. It would be over so fast we would have to determine what happened on slow speed playback.
Would we have to run drug tests on the squirrels?