First Time For Everything

Posted April 18th, 2006 by Playtah

Today is the 100th anniversary of the San Francisco earthquake.  You can find some interesting stuff about it on MSNBC (click on the link in the sidebar to go there).

This got me thinking.  At some point in history, some earthquake was THE first earthquake ever.  Some hurricane was THE first hurricane ever.  Some volcano was THE first volcano ever.  Wouldn’t it be cool to go back in time to that moment?  Not for any scientific or research purpose.  Not to see the raw power of nature.  Not to witness the fury of the skies.  Just to see the look on people’s faces. 

I bet it was classic.

This is one of the many reasons why it’s a good thing that I’m not God.  I would be way too entertained by the first moment of the very first occurrence of a natural phenomenon.  Not the death.  Just the look on someone’s face.  This is what I imagine it would be like:

 

Me: C’mere.
Angel: What can I do for you?
Me: Nothing–I just want you to watch this with me.
Angel: Ok.
Me: See that guy in the loincloth fishing?  Watch him.  I call this “lightning”.

**Makes a lightning bolt strike a tree a few feet from guy fishing.  Man frantically jumps up, eyes wide, and tries to run away; knocks himself out on a tree, and falls on his face.**

Angel: Whoa!  He totally didn’t see that coming!
Me: He must’ve jumped three feet!  Oh, look at the back of his loincloth!
Angel: Ooh…that’s gonna be a stain.
Me: You think that’s bad…just wait a few thousand years until I test a vacuum cleaner near a group of skittish housecats.  That will be a stain.

 


3 Responses to: “First Time For Everything”

  1. minijonb responds:
    Posted: April 18th, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    God created skittish housecats to test the patience of humans. Other examples of this are slow drivers in the left lane and lost socks. A good lightning strike would be helpful in those situations.

    =:-)

  2. Rachel responds:
    Posted: April 18th, 2006 at 2:08 pm

    Didn’t Uno leave you a stain when you violated him? He is a skittish house cat.
    Maybe we can blame all of lifes problems and disasters on skittish house cats. But that would take all of the fun out of the Western/Middle Eastern blame game.

  3. Deb responds:
    Posted: April 19th, 2006 at 9:29 am

    ROFL


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