For The Birds
I see a wonderful assortment of wildlife where I live: deer, wild turkeys, raccoons, woodchucks, cardinals, and ducks. And for the most part, I enjoy that.
Recently, however, geese have been showing up.
Don’t get me wrong. I think geese are kind of cute-looking. I put up with geese for years at college. My Grandma Playter and I had a running geese theme. But for the sweet love! Do they never stop their infernal noise?!
Oh, the honking. Day and evening. Honk. Honk. Honk. I try to take a nap after work. Honk. Honk. Honk. It’s like listening to two airhorns go through puberty in your back yard. And what is the purpose of all that honking? Communication? I mean, really. You’re a goose. Do you have that much to talk about? Or is this the inevitable outcome of having a short memory span and the ability to make noise? If scientists ever translate the honking into English, I think they’ll find that this is a typical conversation between two geese:
“Who are you?”
“A goose.”
“Me too!”
“Hey, look! I can make noise!”
“Me too!”
“I’m gonna do it again.”
“Me too!”
“I’m gonna do it again.”
“Me too!”
“I’m gonna do it again.”
“Me too!”
“I’m gonna do it again.”
“Me too!”
“I’m gonna do it again.”
“Me too!”
“Who are you?”
“A goose.”
“Me too!”
“Hey, look! I can make noise!”
This conversation cycle is broken only when the goose eats, or at night, when everything is blissfully quieter. My only hope is to try to annoy the geese more then they annoy me; I just don’t know what annoys them. I hope it involves eating chocolate and letting the milk in my refrigerator spoil, because I’m already pretty good at that.
Deb responds:
Posted: March 29th, 2006 at 9:58 am →
ROFL….oh my….ROFL
Rachel responds:
Posted: March 29th, 2006 at 10:32 am →
Gee Wynn. I thought you could sleep through anything. Isn’t your fan on high enough? Maybe you can get a sound machine too and combined will be enough to drown out the geese.
Or, you could go out on your deck and join the conversation….with an air horn.
Faith - FR responds:
Posted: March 29th, 2006 at 1:06 pm →
I bet an air horn might just work!!!!! But then, your neighbors and the friendly GR cops might not be so pleased. The worst honking by far though is in the spring when the geese are mating, and pickitt first floor windows are open and you’re trying to sleep.
Faith - FR responds:
Posted: March 29th, 2006 at 1:07 pm →
oh, and by the way, i didn’t give up tea for lent…just so you don’t worry about me too much.
Gracie responds:
Posted: March 29th, 2006 at 5:38 pm →
OH. MY. STARS.
I am remembering the long, long saga of Timmy and the geese. Of Grandma Playter absconding with them, and of her banging her tin cup on the bars while vowing that she would never reveal….
We gotta dig that out. I think that our blog readers (yeah I finally got back on with mine) would LOVE to see what we did under the influence of NO artificial anythings…